Clean Up your Sex Life

Last week Tim Challies ran a series Sexual Detox that is a must read. Challies seeks to replace lies with the truth.

Many young men need a kind of sexual detox before they are equipped to be the kind of pure, loving, attentive, sacrificial husbands that God calls them to be. In this series of articles I hope to help young men reorient their understanding of sex, both in the big picture and in the act itself, according to God’s plan for this great gift.

While the series is aimed at young men, it is worthwhile for all to read.

  1. Pornifying the Marriage Bed
  2. Breaking Free
  3. A Theology of Sex
  4. Detoxification
  5. Freedom
  6. Recommended Resources

Great job Tim!

Unprotected Sex

Cover from the book Unprotected I caught just a few minutes of the interview today, but Michael Medved‘s show today featured “Dr. Anonymous” the author of Unprotected: A Campus Psychiatrist Reveals How Political Correctness in Her Profession Endangers Every Student. This looks like a must read for any parent concerned about their children’s well-being.

iLife: Staying Pure in a Sex-Crazed World

Tape 2459.03 iLife #3, 1 Corinthians Series
Senior Pastor, Jeff Jones

Flee from sexual sin; don’t fight it.

Flee from sexual immorality
1 Corinthians 6:18a

If you don’t want to fall off the cliff, don’t go to the edge. You are not a temptation superman!

1 Corinthians 10:12

Get married and keep your sex life healthy.

Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
(1 Corinthians 7:1-9 NIV)

Abstinence is the ideal before marriage, not within a marriage.

Don’t deprive each other (1 Corinthians 7:5) so that Satan will not tempt you. Withholding sex is a sure fire way to invite Satan into your marriage. This is not a justification for sin, but this sets you up for a fall.

Be seriously resolute in your commitment to sexual purity.

“Everything is permissable for me” was a popular slogan in the Corinthian church. Reality: we are free from sin, not free to sin! 1 Corinthians 6:12-13

Sexual sin is uniquely offensive to God.

1 Corinthians 6:15-20

The original Greek porneia means any sexual activity outside the marriage.

Wherever we go sexually, God goes with us. Dwell on that a bit the next time you are tempted sexually. Sexual sin is uniquely dangerous to us (v 18). Honor God with your body (v 19-20).

Jeff recommended The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment by Clifford and Joyce Penner.

Listen to iLife: Staying Pure in a Sex-Crazed World with iTunes.

Great Sex

God’s design for great sex. We should save, strive for and protect God’s ideal. It is worth waiting for.

Commitment

  • Song of Solomon 3:6-11. Song of Solomon 2:16. Song of Solomon 7:10.

  • Sex is wonderful within a committed lifelong marriage. Committed even when I don’t feel like it.

  • In Solomon’s day the wedding ceremony was not about the money spent, but the commitment made.

Anticipation

  • Song of Solomon 4:12

  • They saved themselves until marriage, excitement of the coming union.

Preparation

  • Song of Solomon 4:1-7

  • Men and women are different

  • Solomon undresses/unwraps his bride

  • Men are microwaves, women are crock pots. — Gary Smalley
  • Love chooses to see perfection in her.

Unreserved Enjoyment

  • Song of Solomon 4:8-16. Song of Solomon 5:1.

  • Beyond fears, anxieties.

  • This is a safe/secure place.

  • There should be a commitment in marriage to the sexual fulfillment of your spouse. 1 Corinthians 7:1-7.

Communication

  • Talk about this area of your life with your spouse.

Further Study

Make it a point to enjoy this point of your life in the next couple of weeks. Thanks Jeff!